Broken Fathers

Have you ever seen Sybil the movie? She had like 17 personalities. Well, I grew up with 2. I had the outward me and the inward me. I lived behind layers of attitude that protected me from being hurt by others.
The layers smothered me, they smothered my dreams and limited me in every areas of my life….relationally, financially, happily.
I learned at an early age to fight for myself – that if anyone was going to protect and take care of me, it was up to ME.
Today, I am going to through down one layer, unzip my heart and let you into the deepest part of my pain.
When I was 3 years old, my dad left our family to pursue a 22 year life of alcohol and drugs. Although he loved me, this little 3 year old couldn’t understand why her daddy left. I didn’t realize it at the time, but it scarred me with feeling rejected.
I felt rejected, unloved, and especially unwanted. I deeply longed for my daddy. I deeply grieved the loss of this man. Every day.
I actually remember spending days, nights, weeks, and years asking where my dad was. I asked about him until I was about 6 or 7 years old. My mom always told me that he was never coming back, he wasn’t a good dad to have and I was better off.
I appreciate her trying to help me understand, but what my mom didn’t comprehend that I was too young to reason. I had been left – rejected and she had NO understanding of the deep wound that it left.
No one did.
This rejection that started at such a young age impacted me for YEARS.
But, thankfully, I am healed of this because I know how to press in to my True Father. My adopted Daddy – who actually CHOSE me before I was born. I wasn’t an accident. I was planned for and cared for all these years. I know how to press into Him and trust Him with my security.

Even still today, I can feel the fear of rejection creep up in me. When I do, I have to remember that it is buried and it no longer has a hold on me. I have to stand firm and dig my heels into the throat of the accuser until he stops speaking! I have to stand firm, resisting the thoughts, words, and actions that are bullets sent out to hurt me, because my God has delivered me! I am safe when I STAY in Him!

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty [Whose power no foe can withstand]. Psalm 91:1 amp

You see  ALL men are broken. Broken men break their children. These men were broken by their fathers and their fathers, etc.



_____________________________________________________________________________

About a year ago I found myself planted in a seat at IHOP…no, not pancakes, but International House of Prayer. One of my favorite worship leaders, Misty Edwards, started singing an unfamiliar song. It was about our earthly fathers.

By the middle of it, I was in full tears.

Overwhelmed.

Thankful.

Moved.

The line that BLEW me over was this: “Your babies will be my babies.”

When I heard Misty sing that line, it was if God spoke it directly to my heart.

“It’s really over Sheri. I got your back. I have you. I have your babies. I care about them – just like I always cared for you. I chose them before they were born. They are mine. You are all safe with me. You can let down your guard now daughter. I am safe. “

Whew.

Whatever it was in your past, whoever hurt you, they are just broken men. God’s got you. He’s your Daddy. He’s trustworthy and kind. He wants you to know that if you are holding onto any remnant – lay it down today. He’s trustworthy.

I hope this song ministers to you.

For you did not receive a spirit<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(AE)”> that makes you a slave again to fear,<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(AF)”> but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(AG)”> 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(AH)”> that we are God’s children. Romans 8:15-16

I hear Him singing over you
And some of you I hear him saying your name
Saying your name
He says to you
I’m not like your father
Listen my beloved one

I’m not like your father
‘Cause, even the best of them are just broken brothers
Listen my child
Listen to me

I am not like your father
Why are you putting that on me?
Listen, listen
I’m not like your father
I’m not like your father
‘Cause, even the best of them are just broken brother
Listen

For all men are broken
And broken men break their children
Who grow up to be broken men
But I’m bigger than that
Listen
I’m bigger than that

All men are broken
And broken men break their children
Who grow up to be broken men
But I’m bigger than that
Come to Me
I’m bigger than that

I am not like your father
And some of you have been so afraid of
Repeating the same mistakes that fear has your frozen
But listen, listen
I have the power to change things
And I have the power to make you new
And I have power to rearrange the same old chain
And listen

You’re not like your father
It’s a new day
It’s a new day
You’re not like your father
And the sins of your fathers
And their fathers
And their fathers
And their fathers fathers will not be on you
Just keep on
Keep on coming
Keep on coming
Keep on coming
Keep on coming

Listen my beloved one

All men are broken
And broken men break their children
Who grow up to be broken men
But listen
I’m bigger than that

You’ve got to let your fathers go
Your fathers were broken by their fathers
Who were broken by their fathers
Their fathers and their fathers
On and on and on and on
We’re all in this together
There’s only one good Father
There’s only one good Father
He’s the father of all of creation
He’s the father of lights
The father of glory
And He loves us so well

And all he says is

Everything is in My hands
It’s gonna to be alright
It’s gonna to be alright
You’re gonna to be ok
No regrets
Everything is in My hands
It’s gonna to be alright
You’re gonna to be ok
And some of you have been so full of regret
But your babies are my babies
Listen, Your babies are My babies
And I will be the Father
‘Cause, Your babies are My babies

I’m gonna to turn it all around
just wait and see
I’m gonna to make everything beautiful
just in time
I am gonna to turn it all around
Just wait and see
No regrets
I am gonna to make everything beautiful
Just in time

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s