Thankful Even in the Pain

Today, 7 years ago, my mom left this earth. I know she is better and healed today, but boy do we miss her! Sunday, I missed her all day because 7 years ago, she died the day after the Superbowl. So Superbowl day, I remember being with her and it was her last great day on earth. She hadn’t been hardly alert for 2 weeks before Superbowl day. She talked with friends, got her taxes ready, went to Sonic and we spent the day with her. It was a GOOD day. She looked frail and terrible, but her JOY shined through!

Since Sunday was hard for me, I really didn’t think today would get me, but when you lose your mama, how can it not?

I wrote this note. Read it or not. Just be thankful for what you have WHILE you have it! It won’t be there forever!

Thinking about what you don’t have makes you miss what’s right in front of you – what you do have! Be thankful.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Colossians 3:15

Mom,

I miss you. I can’t believe it’s been 7 years (feels like a million!) since I’ve seen you face-to-face, heard your voice, heard your laugh, or hugged your neck.

I use to pick up the phone to call you, but I finally realized you weren’t going to answer.

I use to place things in my cart that I thought you’d love then I realized you wouldn’t be there to receive them.

I ached so bad every day. To breath, I couldn’t bear.

I miss Sunday dinners, playing Farkel Tripoley, softball games, karaoke with you and our fam. and so much more!

I miss calling you to share all the neat things your grand kids are doing like

Spencer’s playing guitar. I know you would love to sit at her feet and whistle along.

Kennedi is flipping and dancing up a storm and I’m sure you would let her teach you a few things like you let me teach you the Running Man! (she still has the cutest voice!)

Chandler Kate plays the Keys something awesome. She fills our house with hours of joy.

I wish you knew them today. I know you would fill their lives with laughter and give attitude adjustments as needed. 🙂 Read to them, teach them to be frugal with their money, help them learn to save, take them to Lifechurch – southside, of course! I miss that my kids don’t have their grandma because I know how much you did and would love them!

I miss our frequent phone calls and weekly visits. I miss seeking your counsel and I even miss your friends. I miss not being able to ask you silly questions about your childhood and mine. 🙂 I miss you at Grandma’s for Christmas. Oh you and Sharon Kay made it so much fun. We have never been the same. We try, but we are not you.

I can’t believe it’s been 7 years. I am growing older, my kids are growing up, and life is changing so radically. I have continued to seek God and make Him my first. Mostly, I think about what I am thankful instead of what I am missing out on.

I am so thankful:

– Thankful for ALL the years I had with you.

– Thankful that you got to know the Lord while you were here and you are with Him today!

– Thankful for your JOY – the way you could light up and change a room!

– Thankful that you got to meet my kids.

– Thankful that you loved me more than I could understand – even when I wasn’t sure.

– Thankful you were wise with money! And you thought me how to find the best deal 🙂 But sometimes, quality was a better decision.

– Thankful that you sacrificed so we didn’t even feel poor – even when we were so poor!

– Thank you for helping me with my relationship issues.

– Thankful you were faithful to us.

– Thankful for your example! I cannot believe you never complained about cancer! You were even so thankful it was you and not us. You didn’t make it your platform. You didn’t allow it to define you! You fought, but you LIVED fully! IN JOY, not in pity. You chose joy…even when I know you didn’t feel like it.

– Thankful you taught me to live debt free – better to look poor than look rich and have nothing.

– Thankful you loved Steph and I so much.

– Thankful for the way you ENJOYED your grandbabies! Loved seeing you light up!

– We had our share of BAD times, but I am so thankful for the way GOD worked us out!

– I am so thankful for the way you loved me as an adult. You let me grow up, make mistakes (doozies!), stopped controlling, and offered friendship and counsel when asked (not even unsolicited) ….and oh help me, that’s what I miss so much: Your friendship.

I move on because God is Worthy and because it would waste all the effort you put into me for me to just stop and stay in a pity party! My calling is irrevocable. My circumstances do not change my calling. I was born with a purpose and I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 3:14)

Today, I am doing ok. It gets easier, but I never get over not having you around.

I look forward to our time together when my BLINK is over. 🙂

I love you!

Your baby girl,

Sheri Dawn

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Thinking about what you don’t have makes you miss what’s right in front of you – what you do have! Be thankful.

One thought on “Thankful Even in the Pain”

Anonymous says:

February 8, 2013 at 9:21 pm

Sheri, Sheri,

Feb 17 will mark 29 years for me. TWENTY NINE YEARS, and the ache is still there. And I too am thankful even through the pain. Thankful right now The Lord has given me such a precious friend in you to share love, friendship, and yes, pain. I love you, girl. Kara

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