Teens. Teens. Teens.
With all girls, you wouldn’t believe how many people say…”Oh I feel sorry for you. Just you wait until the dreaded teenage years.”
With that I always respond under my breath, “I rebuke that in Jesus name.”
I seriously never believed I would go through some of this teenage junk. I know. I know what you are thinking.
Are you stupid?
Hello naive mother…every teen talks back and rebells.
Thanks for that. 🙂
No, I am not stupid. I just refuse to believe that every teen has to go through it. I believe there is a better way. I am tryingto learn it.
Key word: TRYING!
This is how yesterday (and most every other day this year – the sweet year of 2014):
Me:
“Did you go through the “bla bla bla” (because you know that is what she heard) thing I asked you to?”
She:
“No.”
She continued doing the same thing.
No movement toward the thing she didn’t do (as asked).
Music volume increases.
My head voice:
Really?
Big eyes.
Foot tapping.
Hello – wake up. See the body language?
“Ahem.”
Crickets.
Mom’s plotting thoughts:
Hmmm what’s the consequence for this delayed obedience?
No more iPod for the next 10 years (because she turned it up!).
Okay that’s not a natural consequence. Get real. You can do this mom!
Well, that’s it…I am going to swat her.
Deep breath.
OHHH I know…I will pray.
I have not cuz I ask not, right?
Father whyyyyyy( insert whiney voice)? What is wrong with her? How do I get back to her heart?
(Deep breath.)
This isn’t helping. The music is too loud to pray.
Why is she ignoring me and my request?
Don’t forget to breath out Sheri.
Okay…
Just walk away.
Oh nelly the music stopped.
What does this mean?
Oh wait..
Wait!!
Hallelujah!! She’s back.
Whew.
She:
“Oh hey
Mom I was just taking a short break because I completed 3 math lessons. That was exhausting.”
Humiliated Mom:
Really?
“Oh great! Good job. I knew you were a wise time manager.” (What is wrong with me. Shut it.)
Help. I am an idiot.
You ever been an idiot like me?
Maybe the dreaded teen years aren’t all the teenagers fault. Maybe it’s partially our fault (along with uncontrollable hormones, appetites, and growing pains) for not transiting our role from commander to coach?
There’s a gradual curve that parents transition from controlling our children (you better or else, right?) and requiring first time obedience to waiting on the teen’s will to catch up to our request. We have to let go a little at a time or we will find ourselves losing ground and quickly all the influence we have with them. That’s when it’s just too late.
I am in the influence stage.
All I have now is influence.
Every day that I choose to voice my frustrated words or body language is a day that reduces my influence.
Oh Father teach me to remain silent.
Help me understand that I am not her army commander any longer. I have the privilege of coaching, mentoring and influencing. Help me to embrace this incredible new season.
In love,
Sheri
PS…I wrote this in the middle of this battle yesterday.
PPS..I am still growing and learning. You too?
sheriyates.com 