Mad at God

A throwback post…. 

“I am mad at God.”

These are the words I said to my pastor 15 years ago.

I had just lost my aunt, Sharon Kay. She was spunky. Beautiful. She didn’t turn to God until later in life. She believed God would heal her.

“Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.” Matthew 18:19

But she faithfully believed for a miracle, but she made it clear to me that “either way I win. I either get to stay with you all and Brandi for a while longer or I get to meet Jesus face-to-face.”

I wasn’t so sure I agreed with my Aunt. I wasn’t so sure that if two people agreed, that it would be done. 

I mean I was THE Christian here, I thought so proudly to myself. I should know. 
She stood on the Word for her miracle. 

She didn’t get it. 

September 26, 2000, I lost my aunt. 

I was mad at God.

I told my pastor how disappointed and mad I was. He told me this, “It’s ok to be mad at God. People sometimes are. In Psalm 88, you can read about someone being mad about God in the Bible.”

I studied that chapter. I told God I was mad. I sought Him. I didn’t withdraw from Him. I did grow closer to Him because I just told Him every awful thing I was actually thinking – like He didn’t know my thoughts already. 

God is big enough to handle everything you want to throw at Him! He just wants you to draw near to Him like he does to you. 

After blabbing and confessing my deepest hurt and confusion – guess what I found out?

He showed me something…

I should never be mad at God. He is the giver of good and perfect gifts. He redeems my life from the pit. He loved me before I was lovable. He is for me and not against me. His heart was broken for me that I lost my aunt, but she was now with Him. She is safe, healed, whole and totally fine and waiting for me! She will be on my homecoming cheer team – I am sure.

When I told my pastor I was mad at God, this is how he should have responded, “Sheri, if you are mad at God, you must not know how good He is. When you know Him, truly know Him, you won’t ever doubt His goodness. You need to seek to know Him more. He weeps with you. He is your comforter.”

We often misplace our anger that should be directed at the enemy who steals, kills and destroys life and we place it fully on God – a God who LOVES us. God is THE ONE that came to bring LIFE and life to the FULL – and overflowing!

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

I do not know why my aunt is no longer with us, but what I do know is that a loving God received her on 9.26.2000. I know she won! 

Her life set me on a journey to know God more deeply and to learn about His healing truths

Share a time you have been angry with God? 

One thought on “Mad at God

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