Longing to Be Fully Known – Marriage

I am married. 

That should tell you something about me. I have good days with my man and not so awesome days with him. It seems as though we go through awesome seasons, but sometimes those seasons can be bumpy! 

Brutal honesty….

A while back, I was pretty PO’d about him basically ignoring me. I am like, “Hey, I am right here. Where are you?” He was busy with some huge projects – understaffed and just trying to do IT all, but “IT” didn’t include his wife. 

And That’s never good. 

If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy! Can I get a Holla?

I started off hurt, but it grew into frustration. Frustration grew and I became LIVID! 

I started to dwell on all the things that HE DOESN’T do! I forgot all the things that he DOES do. All I could think about what that I was VERY LAST. I became this needy little wife growing more and more angry because he just didn’t see me. 

My flesh was riled and LOUD! My mind on a run away train thinking How long will or can I endure this – is this the right man for me – which is a question you should NEVER ask once you are married, but my own mind can blind me from the Truth…if I don’t take charge over it! 

We have to lead our hearts and guard them because they’re the wellspring of LIFE! If you let your heart lead you around in your marriage, you are going to wind up on a path you may regret. 

I decided that I was going to write out my heart for him to see. As I wrote, God spoke his words on my paper. He revealed to me why I was so crushed in that moment. 

Here it is….

I long to be known. 
I want to be loved and…
Loved Well…
Thought of.
Not assumed, but discovered.
Worth it.
Know what I like – no…Know what I love.
Know the details of my heart.
Care about what I care about.
I don’t just want a celebration.
But one with every detail thought out well
because someone loves me so much
that they took the time to know me.
Known intimately.
Known emotionally.
Everything I love.
The little things.
The details of my heart.
Every detail of my heart
Every tear I withhold – that I would be known.
Everything that breaks my heart
Everything that takes away my breath
Everything that brings a smile to my face – laughter to my heart
Every thought taken captive
Every silent look
Oh to be known.
But God whispered to my heart…

“But you
Beautiful one
Were not created to be known here
This is not your home
The deepest thirst
Greatest need
Cannot be fulfilled by anyone here
I know every detail of your hands
The number of your hairs
Take your eyes off man
to fulfill
the desires only I can quench.
I know every detail.
I treasure you.
I know your heart.
I hold every tear you’ve withheld.
I have seen every heart break.
Everything that takes away your breath…
I know.
I cherish the desires of your heart.
I love you. It’s enough.
You are my bride.
I am your groom.
Prepare your heart
For the wedding day.
Love those here.
But don’t trust them
To do what only
I can do.”
He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD. Proverbs 18:22

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