Before you start reading this and think I’m judging you, I am preaching to myself this morning. I have been seeiously inwardly frustrated with messes and mess and mess after mess and so many other things. I catch myself grumbling, dictating – sometimes it’s my inward voice and other times it’s outward. The struggle is real. It’s out of this struggle that I write this to you and to me. Listen up.
I love being a mom. After I had spencer everyday was like Christmas. I couldn’t wait to wake up and see her!
Somewhere along the way, if you’re not careful or intentional, you will find yourself annoyed by your little blessings.
Annoyed by their stuff on the floor, the messes they leave behind, by the tone in their voice.
You will hear yourself nag and nag, roll your eyes, and lose the joy and intimacy you once had when they were little.
Don’t let the little things destroy the depth of relationship you could have. Your kids don’t need a nagging mama (or aggressive dad). They need to be heard. They need to trust you. They need a place to share their heart and struggles. They need to know that they are more important than your clean house. You’ll become frustrated when you can’t control them. You lose control and only have influence. Influence is far more important.
Speak life. Encourage them. Let them fail and let the natural consequences do the teaching and reprimanding. You don’t have to be the hammer. Be the pillow they land on when they fall.
Because if you don’t, they will not tell you the truth. They’ll be a different person away from you than they are with you. You will not truly know the person they’ve become because they shut you out. It’s the beginning of destroying that first love you had with them.
In 100 years, all that crap on the floor won’t matter. In fact, ask a parent who has lost a child and I bet they would REJOICE an eye-rolling, mess-making teenager under their roof!
Sound stupid to you? Okay then. Keep shutting your kid down and maybe you’ll end up with a kid with good disciplines to your face, but I can guarantee you will lose their heart and most likely they’ll just be someone else when you’re not around.
To parent isn’t to force.
It’s to lead their hearts to do the right things, not force them to do the things we want them to do. If their heart isn’t leading them, then it’s not genuine anyway. Settle for nothing less. Don’t lose their heart in the process of beating them down. The world will do that enough for them.