I want to introduce you to my amazing friend, Deziray Click! She inspires me. She pursues the heart of God and cares faithfully for her temple. She inspired me to sign up with my trainer and finally take back my health. We are faithful workout partners who push each other. We talk about how painful and damaging comparison can be to your life.
She wrote this and shared it with me yesterday. It was so powerful, I knew you all would be blessed by it!
For months I have seen pictures of my Facebook friends and they look AMAZING! They have clear, beautiful, non-wrinkled skin with no hormonal brown splotches, no blemishes. Their skin is almost porcelain-like. They have those high cheekbones and narrow, non-puffy face. Their makeup is perfect—from beautiful eyelashes to perfectly shaped eyebrows.
I have super-blotchy, discolored skin. I have these brown splotches all over my face due to melasma from two wonderful pregnancies. I have wrinkles that show my age and teeth that show my love for coffee even more.
The more I saw the almost perfect images of others, the more conscious I felt about all of my imperfections. Some of these people had just left the gym or were at the park with their kids or were on a date night with hubby. And yet they looked like they just walked out of a magazine or had a very good plastic surgeon. These, of course, are my just insecurities, and I am too sensitive about some of them.
For years, I have tried numerous brands of foundation, lightening creams, and many other products, as I know many of you have tried, too. I finally asked one individual what foundation she used because DANG IT I wanted my skin to look that perfect! I didn’t care how much it cost—I needed to look as good as them!
She then told me her secret was not high-dollar cosmetics. It was an app called Perfect365. A picture editing app! What? You mean I have been comparing my real self to your Photoshopped self?
So I tried it out:
This is why COMPARING ourselves is not healthy. We are comparing the real us to the fake them! Love the face and body God gave you. If there are areas you want to work on, do it. But do it not because you think you don’t look as good as “her”—because what you see may not be reality.
We do this in many other areas too—marriage, work, parenting, homeschooling, fitness, and finances, to name a few. Comparing our real selves to our own or somebody else’s “perfected self” is self-deceptive. It creates a never-ending cycle of edits that force us to hide behind our photos or our posts in an effort to fit into our communities or convince others and ourselves that we look better than we do.
Know who you are in Christ. Let Him, not an Instagram filter or a photo-editing app, fill that void.
One of the fastest ways of discouraging yourself and getting trapped by the sin of envy is when you compare yourself to others. God has a specific plan for you, and you won’t accomplish that plan by looking at others—especially the edited version of others.
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Each of you must examine your own actions. Then you can be proud of your own accomplishments without comparing yourself to others. Assume your own responsibility.
For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.
A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.