To be totally honest, my heart is broken this morning. I don’t generally share thoughts like this, but I’m sure some of you are experiencing the same thing.
I don’t understand why people quit on people. Jesus’ last words were a prayer for unity. Yet people do it all the time. They are like, “I had a disagreement with you. You offended me. You encroached on my territory. So I don’t want anything to do with you—or I will, but only at arm’s length. This is the distance at which I am going to keep you.” This attitude is not godly. You can think you have godly character and godly wisdom all day long, but unforgiveness is not godly.
I don’t understand why people quit on relationships because of one disagreement, one hurdle, or a slew of them. The Bible says seven times seventy will you forgive. But what we say in our flesh is: “I’ll forgive you, but I will never forget. I will never trust you again.” That is not actual forgiveness. Jesus forgave, and His forgiveness is forgiving and forgetting. That means treating someone as if there were never a wrong.
I don’t understand why people quit on people. Jesus’ last words were a prayer for unity. Yet people do it all the time. They are like, “I had a disagreement with you. You offended me. You encroached on my territory. So I don’t want anything to do with you—or I will, but only at arm’s length. This is the distance at which I am going to keep you.” This attitude is not godly. You can think you have godly character and godly wisdom all day long, but unforgiveness is not godly.I completely disagree with the boundaries taught in today’s self-help and relationship books. Whenever you are building your own boundaries, you are leaning on your own defenses and you are leaning on your own walls to protect yourself; you are not trusting in the Lord. Instead, you’re trusting in what you can do and what you can protect. The truth is that we need to be opened up, unwound, and fully and truly have our hearts opened so God can work with us constantly and keep unity and bring restoration. He can bring ultimate, deep healing.
The friendships in which we have worked through hard things are the deepest, longest-term friendships I have. They are awesome. They are forever friendships. They are the ones where you can get back together after a while and feel like no time has passed.
My concern is what are we teaching our children? We are teaching our children that people are expendable based on a feud or an offense. These people aren’t your spouse, we say, and you can break up with anybody except your spouse. How can your children truly understand this mindset? How can they find the line?
Someday we are going to be disappointed, but we need to teach our kids that people are God’s children. We shouldn’t be breaking up and practicing divorce every day with friends, family, and people who make us mad. Learn to suck it up and get over it. Learn to be forgivers and forgetters in Jesus’ name. This is the only way. We should do it by example to enable our children to love with reckless abandon.
Someday we are going to be disappointed, but we need to teach our kids that people are God’s children. We shouldn’t be breaking up and practicing divorce every day with friends, family, and people who make us mad. Learn to suck it up and get over it. Learn to be forgivers and forgetters in Jesus’ name. This is the only way. We should do it by example to enable our children to love with reckless abandon.
You know what? The world is harsh. The world will hate us. People are going to put up their barriers, and new Christians are going to try to protect themselves. Eventually, in time, they are going to learn to trust the Protector. They are going to let their hearts be exposed and let their hearts be hurt. They are going to grow from it because they worked through some difficulties. If our kids can learn to remain, then they are going to be trustworthy.
I was asking myself this morning: Is there anyone trustworthy? Is there anyone you can count on to remain in your life? Do you constantly have to pretend to be someone you are not and tiptoe around people because they are so easily offended that with the first offense, they will simply walk out of your life? What a waste of time. Why am I going to pour into you if, at the first offense, you are going to walk away? Wow. I’ve invested all this time, and you just quit. You’re a quitter. You’re not a finisher. Be a finisher. Be a strong finisher.
God is long-suffering. You’d think one year, five years, or thirty years would be long-suffering. It’s not. It’s short. Be trustworthy in the short things and the small things so God can expand your territory and give you more.
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