How Do I Let Go?


Here I sit 

Idling car 

Rolling tears
Thoughts racing

How can life be passing 
So quickly 

She’s all grown up 
17 is fading into 18 
faster than 
my heart can handle

How do I let her go 
She drives away 
Oh my heart 
goes with her 
Oh my mind 
Memories 
Fear
Faith 
Hope 
Pain
Racing 
Prayer is the only remedy. 

Oh God
How do I let her go
How will I survive 
The gap in the waiting 
Til she comes home again

Oh my heart rejoices 
The sound of her car
Returning 

Dinners together have faded  
Friends take our place
A life waiting to be held 
In front of her 

A life completed 
She leaves behind 

Oh my table is incomplete 
When even just one is missing. 

The days are long. 
The years are short. 
Snotty noses 
Poopy diapers
Cute voices 
50 kisses 

Fade into independence. 
“I don’t need you 
Look at me
Be proud of me
Affirm me
Do you see that 
you’ve done well mama
Tell me so 
How I long to hear your cheers
I don’t need you
To fix my problems
I got this 
I’m not a baby anymore
Don’t kiss me in front of everyone
Please don’t take my pic.”

From cool to drool
I quickly became 
In their eyes. 

Moms don’t let your hearts become offended in these times 
Because 
They’ll come back around. 

“I need my mama
Late night talks are never late enough 
Help me. 
Hold me
I’m afraid 
Do you believe in me mama?
Can I do this?  
What if I’m not enough? 
Why doesn’t anyone like me? 
I need your hugs more than ever even though I look hard-hearted at times.”

Mamas. Keep your heart open, renewed, and soft. Don’t let the harsh words, cutting words strike you deep. They need you when they look like they need you the least. 

Oh my heart in this season is wrestling with so much. 
Prayer and trust in the Lord is the only remedy. 

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. (Psalm 46:1 NIV)

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