Our perception towards God

Many of us think that God is moved by our behavior. One might think that he’s moved to anger when we make mistakes and when we keep on sinning and we keep on messing up. You know, we mess up every day. Every single day, I make a mistake. I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt. I can spend my time lamenting over my behavior and beating myself up and thinking that God is mad at me. “He’s so disappointed in me. I’m sure he’s shocked by my behavior.” But God knows everything. If you really believe that he’s the beginning and the end and the alpha and the omega, he knew you were going to mess up before you ever did. Amazing.
First of all, we think that he’s moved by us—maybe in a negative way—towards anger or frustrated or disappointed in us. Sometimes when we’re serving or we’re doing really good, we’re performing well, we haven’t made a mistake yet since 8 AM that he’s proud of us or he’s excited or he’s thankful that we’re working for him and working so hard or he’s proud of the way we’re serving.
Some of us might think that God is moved by our prayers. When we beg him and tell him or remind him of his promises, he’s moved; that he decides, “You know what, your prayers are so effective because you’re so righteous. I’m going to go ahead and move on your behalf.”
All of those pretenses—there are many more, but of all those—they’re just all wrong. The truth is that we can’t get any more righteous in Christ. We are the righteousness of Christ and nothing can ever change that. Not our bad behavior, not our bad performance, not our serving, not our good behavior, not our kind gestures, our generosity—nothing can ever change our righteousness. It can’t increase and it cannot decrease. Amazing.
We are the righteousness of Christ. Every prayer we pray is effective. It doesn’t matter if you’re the pastor of a giant church or somebody who works at your local 7-11. Your prayers are as effective as he other one and you know you are the righteousness of Christ and you’re seated at the right hand of God with Jesus. It’s amazing.
We are the righteousness, but what moves God is that you said yes to him; that you received the gift of his son; that you have chosen him. He has sought you out, he brought you to him but you said yes. You didn’t have to say yes to God.
You know, since I was a young girl, as long as I can remember, my whole entire life, I know God has been wooing me. For 26 years, I said no. and then one day I finally said “Yes, God. I want to be with you. I want to be your child. I want to know you. I want to know eternal life. I want to know life with you instead of life without you.”
God is moved by our yes. He is in love with our yes. He is moved because we love him and he loves us. He loved us before we ever said yes. He sees you when you have the choice to back off or back away and shrink back, he sees you and he knows what you’re doing. When you say yes, he is moved. He is so thankful and loves you deeply. He has no respect of persons and he loves no one more and no one less.

Longing to Be Fully Known – Marriage

I am married. 

That should tell you something about me. I have good days with my man and not so awesome days with him. It seems as though we go through awesome seasons, but sometimes those seasons can be bumpy! 

Brutal honesty….

A while back, I was pretty PO’d about him basically ignoring me. I am like, “Hey, I am right here. Where are you?” He was busy with some huge projects – understaffed and just trying to do IT all, but “IT” didn’t include his wife. 

And That’s never good. 

If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy! Can I get a Holla?

I started off hurt, but it grew into frustration. Frustration grew and I became LIVID! 

I started to dwell on all the things that HE DOESN’T do! I forgot all the things that he DOES do. All I could think about what that I was VERY LAST. I became this needy little wife growing more and more angry because he just didn’t see me. 

My flesh was riled and LOUD! My mind on a run away train thinking How long will or can I endure this – is this the right man for me – which is a question you should NEVER ask once you are married, but my own mind can blind me from the Truth…if I don’t take charge over it! 

We have to lead our hearts and guard them because they’re the wellspring of LIFE! If you let your heart lead you around in your marriage, you are going to wind up on a path you may regret. 

I decided that I was going to write out my heart for him to see. As I wrote, God spoke his words on my paper. He revealed to me why I was so crushed in that moment. 

Here it is….

I long to be known. 
I want to be loved and…
Loved Well…
Thought of.
Not assumed, but discovered.
Worth it.
Know what I like – no…Know what I love.
Know the details of my heart.
Care about what I care about.
I don’t just want a celebration.
But one with every detail thought out well
because someone loves me so much
that they took the time to know me.
Known intimately.
Known emotionally.
Everything I love.
The little things.
The details of my heart.
Every detail of my heart
Every tear I withhold – that I would be known.
Everything that breaks my heart
Everything that takes away my breath
Everything that brings a smile to my face – laughter to my heart
Every thought taken captive
Every silent look
Oh to be known.
But God whispered to my heart…

“But you
Beautiful one
Were not created to be known here
This is not your home
The deepest thirst
Greatest need
Cannot be fulfilled by anyone here
I know every detail of your hands
The number of your hairs
Take your eyes off man
to fulfill
the desires only I can quench.
I know every detail.
I treasure you.
I know your heart.
I hold every tear you’ve withheld.
I have seen every heart break.
Everything that takes away your breath…
I know.
I cherish the desires of your heart.
I love you. It’s enough.
You are my bride.
I am your groom.
Prepare your heart
For the wedding day.
Love those here.
But don’t trust them
To do what only
I can do.”
He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD. Proverbs 18:22