Category: Husband

One Thing a Wife Must Know

Sheri YatesLeave a comment

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To Wives from a Husband

Sometimes I love to paint or build my own elaborate form of art with metal wire. Inspiration happens in a moment, and my mind races through the layers and twists and turns of my hands before I ever touch a brush. I imagine shapes and moves, and more than anything else, I see meaning. Without a deep meaning or purpose larger than life for my creation, I might as well be painting a fence. With a storm of emotion inside, in a matter of minutes I can produce with my hands what my mind prophesied months, days, or minutes before.

Wives, you are your husband’s prophesy—his future.
God puts it this way: “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:11–12 ESV).
His heart is the source of his demise or gain. God has given you, actually entrusted you, with a funnel into your husband’s heart. The kind of fruit you expect from him can only be harvested from the seeds you sow into the rich soil of his soul. With your encouragement, his hands will live with deep meaning and purpose as if his life and yours depend on it.
 
Wives …

It’s Sheri. When I read this, I sometimes want to 
condemn myself.
I could do such a better job of building up my husband. Could you? 
 
Let’s look at application and strengthen our husbands with our actions.

Examine the fruit your husband has produced. 

Answer these questions:

•    What fruit has he produced that you have enjoyed with deep satisfaction?
•    What great fruit has he produced that you have not enjoyed with him?
•    What rotten fruit has he produced that you would rather not see in your home again?
•    Lastly, who first planted the seeds in his heart from which the harvest came?
 
Would you begin today to pray, ask for forgiveness, encourage, 
believe in, and trust God with your Hubby?
 

Neck Testimony

Sheri YatesLeave a comment
A lot of people are curious about what my injury was. You’ve heard I injured myself breakdancing, but that is not actually the case. So I am going to share a little bit about what happened, maybe more than a little bit.
On November 7, we were celebrating my daughter’s fourteenth birthday, and I was jumping double Dutch. I jumped rope, walked on my hands, did the centipede, did handstands and headstands. In the process, in one of my handstands, my shoulder gave out. I fell and landed on my head. It was funny because I ended up with a myriad of things on my head. We all laughed and rolled. I was fine. There was actually nothing wrong with me at the time. I even did the centipede after that. We were just goofing off. We had the music up really loud. My family was over. We were simply having fun and laughing.
I went to bed that night. I slept on my stomach. When I woke up, I noticed that my head was off the pillow, turned very far to the right. When I tried to sit up—I even tried to move a little bit—the room began to spin. It immediately made me want to throw up. I was so sick. When I tried to sit up, stand, or walk, I couldn’t get any grasp on a solid foundation. It felt like I was being tossed back and forth and spun around. It was ridiculous.
I did what I needed to do, but I basically stayed in bed until 2 o’clock that day. Somehow, miraculously, I finally rose from bed, yet I wasn’t really with it. My family said my sentences did not make a lot of sense. I scrambled the words within the sentences. They said, “We don’t know what she is saying.” Something was messed up in my brain, but I managed to collect myself somewhat. I lay on ice packs and sat around the rest of the day.
Then I went to a parenting and marriage group we had been a part of. I sat on an ice pack and didn’t really talk to anyone. I certainly did not feel like engaging with people, but I was present. I left and went home, dizzy again. I was making it through—barely.
On the third day, I went to a chiropractor to get some help. I wasn’t feeling horrible, but he said my cranial arteries were swollen and were crammed up at the back of my skull. He didn’t know what else. We took an X-ray and discovered my C2 disc had spun around. He took my head and tried to pop it back into place. I went to a manual therapist to help me get enough relief to feel I could move a bit. But what I realized was the day we tried to pop my neck into place, it actually injured me worse. I felt worse afterward than I ever did before.
I wasn’t in great shape. I was probably one or two weeks out from feeling better because of my chiropractor visit. Whatever happened wasn’t good. I quit going there. The manual therapist helped me move. I prayed, “Lord, help me. I don’t know what to do. I can’t live with this dizziness. Dizziness, go, in Jesus’ name!” I realized I was operating in a whole lot of fear. I was afraid of passing out. I was afraid of dying. I thought maybe I’d pass out and die. I don’t entirely know.

Thankfully, a friend of mine said, “Hey, why don’t you try this guy? He doesn’t pop your bones, but he might be able to help you. He is a Christian.” So I went to see him, and he does without all of the X-rays. He came in and said, “Your C1 has turned one direction, and your C2 is turned 10 millimeters in the opposite direction.” You know how your mom or your grandma says, “Get your head on straight!” or “Is your head on straight?” He said my head was literally not on straight. He said, “You cannot, in one turn, put it back on straight. You have to do it over time. Your body couldn’t handle that much change at one time.”
Over the course of going to him for a few weeks, we slowly started turning my C2 back, one millimeter at a time. Sometimes, I thought it was going backward, but it wasn’t. Sometimes it would turn a little bit. He told me, “You know, Sheri, this injury didn’t happen with breakdancing. That is not what happened. Something inflamed or aggravated it, but this is not an injury from your breakdancing. This is probably a thirty-year-old injury.”
So we went through my past and talked about what I had been subjected to. I realized I had a major concussion when I fell on something upside-down and landed on a metal pole when I was a kid. I fractured my jaw and could not eat solids that whole summer. In my early twenties, I was beaten up and punched in my spine. A lot of people don’t know that about me. I’ve had a hard life. I started thinking about all these other things, too, like my teeth hadn’t been good all through my twenties. I didn’t realize there may have been a bigger issue.
We looked at each of these isolated issues. Oh, concussion, get over that. Oh, fractured jaw, get over that. We’ve got this problem in your spine; heal from that. That’s mental. There are so many mental issues when you’re hurt physically. Many of you probably know I was molested when I was a kid, and there are mental issues that come with that. I have been trying to overcome all of these issues, dealing with the physical issues one at a time, not realizing maybe there’s a bigger issue.
All my life, I’ve needed a back rub. I’m one of those people who wants the deepest tissue back rub. Use your elbow; punch it in there. My back would hurt all the time. I would need a massage, and I would sit in the bathtub. The minute I finished a deep-tissue massage, I felt like I needed another one. I continually needed these knots rubbed out of my body. Mentally, I figured, “Well, you know, the consequences of these things in my past are simply revealing themselves in my back. It’s something I’m going to have to live with.”
I’d ask for prayer periodically. I know I’ve been healed temporarily of the pain, but I wasn’t healed from having those old injuries as a part of my identity. They were deeply woven into who I was. Even though I knew who God said I was—I was a masterpiece, a new creation—for some reason, I had never divorced my old identity with those back and bone issues. I should have laid them down and let them die at the cross when I crossed over out of death into life and became a new believer. But I didn’t do that. I don’t know why. I think because they were so physically strong, they were already part of who I was. The physical pain can really make you believe something is real and is never going to go away.
As I discussed all this with the doctor, he continued to speak life over me. Recently, I asked, “Hey, is there anything spiritually that could be causing or delaying what is going on with my body? I am really sick of this.” He said, “Yes, fear.”
I told him I had been set free from fear and anxiety. I used to be such a worrywart, so afraid and anxious. The peace of Christ transformed my life and my heart—until we started having these dumb earthquakes. When the ground is shaking beneath you, it’s kind of scary, you know? I thought I was on a narrow road—a holy-roller, faith-believing, Bible-thumpin’ Jesus freak—but I was scared.

He said, “You know, Sheri, at the end of the day, fear is rooted in the fact that everybody is going to die. We are going to leave at some point. We are going to die at some point. Do you really trust and believe where you are going afterward?” I mean, talk about a punch in the throat. I thought, wow. You’re really addressing the root cause here. That kind of hurt. Ouch! You throat-punched me. Do I really believe that in death I’m going to be okay? Even if somebody leaves me, I’m going to be okay. But if somebody I love dies, am I going to be okay? You know, he really went to the root issue.

I realized that one of the greatest holds the enemy has tried to put on me since I was a little girl was that everyone would leave. Eventually, everyone would leave. My dad left when I was three. I kept going over all the loss I’ve had in the course of my life. Friends leave. Friends don’t stay the same friends. I’ll tell you right now, they don’t. It’s hard to remain a strong friend and presence in someone’s life when they are hurting and they are not normal and can’t do the normal things. I feel I’ve dealt with that issue.
I have realized that in the last year, my husband and I have been extremely busy. Our work has kept us busy, which has been great. But he is gone a lot, working late night hours. I go to the gym in the morning, and then we kiss and pass ways. He goes to the office, and I work with the kids. Then he goes to the gym, we pick up the kids, we come home, and he puts the kids to bed. That’s what we do. 

So we really are passersby unless we have our set-aside date time. I think, at some point, because of the busyness, I didn’t feel pursued by him the way I wanted to be pursued by him. I would kind of nag him and be like, “Hey! I’m your wife over here. I would like to be pursued by you. Don’t forget about me.”

Deep down, I had started to feel that if he didn’t pursue me, maybe he, too, would leave me. This didn’t hit me until my doctor said it. I said, “Wow. Am I afraid my husband will leave me, too?” I’m honestly not afraid he will. I know this man. He’s stable and fixed. But I think there is a part of your flesh that, if it is not fully dead to its own desires and surrendered to Christ, puts hope in man. When this hope is deferred, it makes the heart sick. I think this happened to me, and then old familiar fear set in.
At the time, my back and neck wouldn’t hold my healing because my sternum wasn’t flexible; it was stuck. As my doctor spoke, I realized that when I was younger, my sternum locked up, and the timing of that injury was associated with someone rejecting me—once again!

BOOM! There it was! Fear of rejection reared its ugly head! The lie had been exposed! It was as if fear of being rejected was holding me down.
It’s as if God said, “Hey, I’ve got a new level of freedom for you today because today you are going to be delivered from a part of your identity you’ve carried for a long time. Today, it is under your feet. It has been under Jesus’, but today it is under yours.”
I feel like somebody needs to hear this today. Maybe you have a fear of losing something or a fear of being left. Maybe you have a fear of dying or a fear of losing a loved one. This fear is real. Even though it’s spiritual, it can actually inhabit the cells of your body and change your DNA. It can change your body and release physical poisons into your body to make you sick. It can manifest itself in your physical body in such a way as to tear you down and destroy your life.
I want to encourage you today. Know that I am praying for you. I want you to pray for yourself that God would reveal to you anything you are holding on to or are fearful of and He would give you comfort and assurance so you know you are safe in Him and it’s okay to let it go because your past has been erased and the new has come.
The greatest thing about this injury for me is knowing something has been a part of my body for a really long time. We talked about this, and my doctor said, “When we take a picture of your spine now, anyone who looks at it will never be able to see the markings of your old injuries. They are completely erased, and you are made new. You will be stronger and better than you ever were before.” I praise God that it has been brought into the light and daily my spine is being restored, from my brain stem all the way to my tailbone. This impacts every cell in my body, over three hundred million nerves. I am grateful.
I haven’t been sick. I simply haven’t felt like sitting in a coffee shop and engaging in idle conversations because I am in a battle for my life, trying to keep my hope up and remain encouraged. I have been constantly in the Word of God, which builds me up and reminds me who I am, what I have, and who God is so I can stay stable and fixed under Him.
I haven’t been able to do some of the things I used to do, like push-ups or bending over to pick up socks dropped on the floor or bending over to do burpees. I can’t do them, and I still feel well, so I don’t. I do what I can do, and I know I am eventually going to get there and be able to do such things again. 

I am no longer afraid because in this world we will have trouble, but we can take heart in the overcoming power of Jesus Christ. Everything He provided on the cross, He said yes and amen to. To every promise of God, the answer is, “Yes and amen.” It’s never “no.” It’s never “wait.” It’s never delayed. It’s always “yes and amen.”
I want to encourage you to rebuke any fear you have. We all have it. We are human. It creeps in. Uproot all of it quickly. You are an overcomer. Look to God’s promises. If you don’t know what those are, ask me. I’ll help you. Jesus wants you to know. He died so you could have them, and there is no reason for you to miss out on them. Eventually, you are going to be able to find them on your own. 

Listen to His voice. He is a good shepherd. You know what? If you are His sheep, you can hear Him. If you are not His sheep, just say, “Hey, I want to be Your sheep.” It’s that simple to make Him your Lord. Just say, “I want You to be my Lord. I want You to be my guide, my friend, my family, my support system, and the one who guides me and helps me in everything.”
He has been my shelter of the Most High who has made me stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty. I am thankful. I hope this encourages you. I hope you can see where I have been and what I have been doing.
Love,
Sheri

One Tool to Get into Your Child’s Heart

Sheri YatesLeave a comment
Pillow talk.
Did you know that our children’s minds review their day’s events every night? Every night in their beds, they review and contemplate everything that happened that day. Now, you have one of two options as a parent: you can stay up late as your child is processing and talk to him or her, or you can choose a tool called pillow talk.
Pillow talk is a journal passed between the parent and the child. At night, when children are processing the day, they can open up their journals and write down the greatest thing that happened to them, what part of the day was most disappointing, and that sort of thing. Children remember the good, but they also have regrets at the end of the day that they process at night—regrets about poor performance on a test or disappointing behavior or the way they treated someone. They also consider their wounds.
Actually, your children can end up monopolizing your time until the wee hours of the morning if you let them. I have many friends who stay up all night long with their children because that’s when their hearts are most vulnerable and open.
It sounds great in theory, but if you work or homeschool and need to be productive during the day, you cannot function properly without sleep. If you’re married, your husband may want some of your time, too. I believe if you stay up all night, every night, with your kids and make yourself available to them at every beck and call, two things happen: one, you lose intimate time with your spouse; and two, your kids don’t learn to process for themselves and communicate in a healthy way at an appropriate time. Plus, if you’re OCD, you need the time when your children are in bed to reorganize and clean up for your own sanity the next day.
Rest is an important part of healing, but I also don’t want to miss out on my time with my kiddos. I don’t want to miss out on their sweet, vulnerable hearts at the time when they’re processing. So what do you do? Do you clean and sleep or have late-night talks with your kids?
I personally cannot live without sleep. I’m exhausted by the end of the day. I’m ready for everyone to go to bed. I want to be horizontal. I don’t need to close my eyes, but I need to be horizontal. I found a tool that lets me into my children’s hearts and allows me to sleep: pillow talk. It’s a journal for the kids and me, and it’s a fun game.

I write a note to my child. I write what’s on my heart. I may write about something I’m disappointed about or an apology for some way I behaved towards her. I write about my life, being vulnerable and transparent. It may not even have to do with my child. Then I write some questions, such as, “Is there anything that has been bothering you lately? Is there an area in which I can encourage you more or an area where you’re feeling discouraged?” The answers don’t have to be long; they are meant to help us have useful, quality conversations the next day when we’re awake and alert.

I slip this under my child’s pillow for her to read at night. It gives her something productive to think on and helps steer her thoughts. I may even put in a positive message of encouragement, a Bible verse, or a picture. Sometimes I draw pictures. I’m a horrible artist, but I draw pictures for my children’s entertainment. We sneak the journal beneath each other’s pillows and see if we can get in there without getting caught. It’s a lot of fun.

When it’s under my pillow, I read it and am able to see inside my children’s hearts. The next day, I pull them aside and make sure I have some one-on-one time to discuss what I read. It’s an open door to have healthy conversations with them at a time when we’re all rested.

Confession—I Didn’t Listen to My Husband

Sheri YatesLeave a comment
Why do some wives (ahem, me) have trouble taking workout counsel from their husbands? To me it feels like criticism, like I’m not good enough as I am. I end up rebelling and not taking care of myself until I know I’m loved just the way I am. 
Not anymore. I decided I’m worth it for myself. In the journey, I realized what an idiot I had been. I wrote this transparent letter to the love of my life after I realized how stubborn and foolish I had been for not listening to this man for years. 
Ty,

I’m ashamed of myself for not listening to you earlier. Years ago, you told me, “Hey, if you do some cross training with your running, your running will grow faster and stronger, and everything will be better.” 
I believe I was so insecure and afraid you thought I wasn’t skinny enough, pretty enough, or in shape that I couldn’t receive your suggestions or constructive criticism. 
Instead, I built a wall. 
I wouldn’t listen to your unsolicited advice about my body or anything related to it. 
I think it’s because I knew I wasn’t in good shape and I wasn’t happy with myself—and if I wasn’t, how could you possibly be? You men are so wired in the physical attraction direction anyway. If I wasn’t happy with me, I concluded that your suggestions were against me, too. 
Every single little comment you made about how I should do this or that speared what I already knew to be true. It pierced the insecurity I was already treading lightly around every single day of my life.
I think about the number of years you’ve tried to get me to listen to you or accept your help. A long time ago, we did Body for Life. In 2005 and again in 2009, we completed P90X. We did that together, but even though I did it, I never fully surrendered control of my body and diet. I would work out for a while but never completely commit to it and revamp my ways.
I think if only I would have humbled myself and listened to you a long time ago, it wouldn’t be such a fight right now. What I’m doing at my age is really hard. Today, when we are at a gym, there’s a guy off to the side about 65 or 70, and he’s lifting a ten-pound weight and doing this little lean over thing. Do you feel that over here? He’s just now entering where we are today.
We could have taken back our health a long time ago if I would have humbled myself, but instead we floundered for years. We let it go and called it a party; we had all that fun life together. I’m ashamed that I didn’t listen to you because I ended up leading us into rebellion, gluttony, and sheer laziness with our temple. 
I don’t think we’re gluttonous or lazy in any other area of our lives. We work really hard, but I think I ended up leading us because I was unwilling to submit when it came to my temple. With all that is in me, I submit my will to following you in every area of our lives. Will you forgive me for my pride and insecurity regarding my temple care? Will you forgive me for assuming you were only being critical? I commit to assuming the best about your comments, suggestions, and leading in this area. 
I am your wife, and I want to be the best me—fit for life! I don’t want to be a woman who always needs you to care for me. I want us to help one another. I am so sorry for failing us by not following you well. I love, love, love you! I praise God for you. 
Will you forgive me?

Love, 

Sheri

One Thing a Wife Must Know

Sheri YatesLeave a comment

To Wives from a Husband

Sometimes I love to paint or build my own elaborate form of art with metal wire. Inspiration happens in a moment, and my mind races through the layers and twists and turns of my hands before I ever touch a brush. I imagine shapes and moves, and more than anything else, I see meaning. Without a deep meaning or purpose larger than life for my creation, I might as well be painting a fence. With a storm of emotion inside, in a matter of minutes I can produce with my hands what my mind prophesied months, days, or minutes before.
Wives, you are your husband’s prophesy—his future.
God puts it this way: “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:11–12 ESV).
His heart is the source of his demise or gain. God has given you, actually entrusted you, with a funnel into your husband’s heart. The kind of fruit you expect from him can only be harvested from the seeds you sow into the rich soil of his soul. With your encouragement, his hands will live with deep meaning and purpose as if his life and yours depend on it.


Wives …

It’s Sheri. When I read this, I sometimes want to 
condemn myself.
I could do such a better job of building up my husband. Could you? 

Let’s look at application and strengthen our husbands with our actions. 
Examine the fruit your husband has produced.  
Answer these questions:

•    What fruit has he produced that you have enjoyed with deep satisfaction?
•    What great fruit has he produced that you have not enjoyed with him?
•    What rotten fruit has he produced that you would rather not see in your home again?
•    Lastly, who first planted the seeds in his heart from which the harvest came?

Would you begin today to pray, ask for forgiveness, encourage, 
believe in, and trust God with your Hubby?

Obey Your Man

Sheri YatesLeave a comment
Just a few years ago, when a woman got married, she had to say she would “love and obey” her husband.
Well, some women got rebellious and lost respect for men altogether! I was certainly raised in a home where the man was a lazy jerk. I was well-trained in the “men are lazy butts” mentality.
Who would have thought that my definition of men would roll into my marriage, but it did. It was a strong, controlling attitude.
I would use my beauty or whatever else I could to get my way because I knew men were easily manipulated. Yes, I said it. Not all men, but certainly most!
After I was saved, I learned a new word: ‘submit.’ “What?!” I thought. That’s just a word, right? Surely it wasn’t a requirement anymore. After all, God didn’t really know what the modern-day men were going to be like, did He? (Of course He did, but we babies don’t really believe that God knows all, do we?)
A mentor of mine said, “The way you submit to your husband is a picture of how you submit to the Lord.” Ouch! That stuck me right in the heart! I knew I didn’t submit to my husband. I was a little bit smarter than he was, and I was always right—right?
I quickly learned that when I did not submit to my husband’s final decision, fear might be controlling the direction I was trying to lead us from the back seat. People in the back seat try to tell the driver how to drive, but they don’t have the same perspective as the driver in the front!
I looked up the synonyms for ‘obey’ and ‘submit’:

Obey—adjust, conform, adapt

Submit—bow, defer, accede, give in, yield, succumb
How do you submit to your husband or the authority that you are under?
Does it reflect how you submit to the Lord?

Submit?

Sheri YatesLeave a comment
Just a few years ago, when a woman got married, she had to say she would “love and obey” her husband.
Well, some women got rebellious and lost respect for men altogether! I was certainly raised in a home where the man was a lazy jerk. I was well-trained in the “men are lazy butts” mentality.
Who would have thought that my definition of men would roll into my marriage, but it did. It was a strong, controlling attitude.
I would use my beauty or whatever else I could to get my way because I knew men were easily manipulated. Yes, I said it. Not all men, but certainly most!
After I was saved, I learned a new word: ‘submit.’ “What?!” I thought. That’s just a word, right? Surely it wasn’t a requirement anymore. After all, God didn’t really know what the modern-day men were going to be like, did He? (Of course He did, but we babies don’t really believe that God knows all, do we?)
A mentor of mine said, “The way you submit to your husband is a picture of how you submit to the Lord.” Ouch! That stuck me right in the heart! I knew I didn’t submit to my husband. I was a little bit smarter than he was, and I was always right—right?
I quickly learned that when I did not submit to my husband’s final decision, fear might be controlling the direction I was trying to lead us from the back seat. People in the back seat try to tell the driver how to drive, but they don’t have the same perspective as the driver in the front!
I looked up the synonyms for ‘obey’ and ‘submit’:

Obey—adjust, conform, adapt

Submit—bow, defer, accede, give in, yield, succumb
How do you submit to your husband or the authority that you are under?
Does it reflect how you submit to the Lord?

One step ahead too self-development

Sheri YatesLeave a comment
Forgive yourself when you fail.
I’ve gone two whole months without failing. I haven’t raised my voice. I haven’t gotten angry. I haven’t been offended. I haven’t been hurt, whatever. You know that’s not true. It’s really not possible. We’re flawed human beings by design. The truth is I’ve failed already today in a big, hard way. It’s only three o’clock in the afternoon when I’m writing this. Today, I’ve been angry and bitter and holding a grudge against my husband and honestly, keeping a record of wrongs on his behalf. Because he won’t keep his own record of wrongs, I have to keep it for him and make sure that I correct him when he’s wrong.
Of course, I fail. I fail, sometimes, moment by moment. I fail in being disciplined. I fail in eating right. I fail in spending enough time with my kids. I fail in harboring bitter thoughts. I fail in becoming offended. I am a failure in so many ways.
Several years ago, I stepped into the freedom of forgiveness of Jesus Christ. I remember the day that I realized that I was truly forgiven and that I forgive myself. That day, I was set free. I have never been in bondage since.
In my Christian walk, there were times when I would get mad and frustrated, like, “Gosh I can’t believe I failed again. I’m such a failure.” Like, “Argh! Why do I keep screwing up? Why do I keep messing up? This is horrible. I know better.” I hated it. I hated myself. I was so mad.
But guess what, I wasn’t walking in the freedom of forgiveness that I once received. Scriptures said walk in the same way that you received Christ. That means if you know you’re forgiven the first day, then you’re forgiven the second day, the two thousandth day, the eighty two thousandth day, you’re forgiven. You can forgive yourself.
The Lord showed me that when I screwed up and I get up and I beat myself up about it, like, “Oh gosh, I can’t believe I did that. I messed up.” When I got up and beat myself up, that I was living in my works and my own effort and my own goodness and my own perfection. I was living in my blood as a sacrifice to God. I wasn’t living in the blood of Jesus. He showed me, “You fall, and you get right back up into my spirit, in the forgiving power of Jesus Christ. If you don’t, in that moment, in the middle, whether it’s a day or a month or year, you’re inoperable to work as my child because you’re too focused on you and what you’ve done. I need your eyes on me and what I’ve done and who I am and what I’m here to do. I don’t need your eyes on you. I need them on me.”
He showed me also that while I was beating myself up, I was saying that Jesus’ sacrifice wasn’t enough for me. Man, that’s just all out blasphemy. That is just arrogance beyond arrogance. Not only do we need to learn to forgive ourselves, we gotta forgive ourselves quickly.
You know, I think a lot of people think that means repentance. What does repent mean? They think it means crying in their closet like, “Oh God, please forgive me. I screwed up so bad. I’m a horrible person. I’m just a weak fleshly soul.” You know what they were doing when they say that? They are agreeing with their own self before they were in Christ. They’re agreeing with their old identity and completely ignoring who God says they are. Wow.
Have you done that before? I’m confident you have. I have done it. I lived that for years—just belittled myself. I talked horribly about myself. While I’m doing that, I’m completely disregarding the truth that God says: one, I am a new creation; two, I am made whole; three, I am the righteousness of Christ; four, I am forgiven and my sins have been erased forever; five, I’m his child and he delights in me; six, he’s not mad at me; seven, I don’t have to beg a God who loves me, a father who enjoys me; eight, I am whole. I’m just whole. Nothing can change my identity. My behavior cannot steal my wholeness. It’s impossible.
So here’s what God convicted me to do—I didn’t learn this from anyone. There’s no teacher who taught me, I didn’t watch it on TV. I didn’t hear it from my pastor. I haven’t heard it from a friend. But I struggled and I wrestled for a very long time, beating myself up because I wasn’t perfect. So I know. This is my story. I’ve walked these shoes. This isn’t a preacher’s message. This is straight out of the heart of God and you need to hear it.
What God showed me to do—when I messed up, he said, “Though righteous man falls seven times, he gets up.” He said, “Sheri, get up. Lift your chin. Do you know who you are in me? You’re already forgiven. Do you think what you just did was a surprise to me? It wasn’t. It wasn’t a surprise. I’m not shocked by you. I knew it already. Here’s what I love about you, Sheri. You fall and you keep choosing me and you choose me, and you choose me again because you know that I love you. You know me. We’re intimate. We’re close. Your mistakes don’t steal from our relationship.”
So he showed me when you fall down, get up and say, “Thank you father that I’m forgiven. Thank you, father, that I’m not defined by what I do. Thank you, father, that I am the righteousness of your son. Thank you, father, that I’m a new creation and I’m not of this world. Thank you, father, that I’m completely forgiven. I receive right now in the name of Jesus. I thank you, father, that you make me whole, that you make me complete. I thank you, father, that I am yours and you’re not mad at me and you’re not a mean God like my parents were. No. I thank you, father, that you are so in love with me; that you delight in me; that we’re friends; that I can come to you and talk about my struggles. You keep me whole, that my identity has not changed; that I’m secure; that Jesus Christ was enough for me.”
You know what, I get up from that with the fullness of joy like you have never known. Somebody can call me and say, “Hey, can you help over my family member who is in the hospital on the verge of dying? Can you leave  for them right now?” And I can say with everything in me, “Yes.” I don’t feel unworthy because it’s Christ who makes me worthy and I stay worthy. I remain worthy even when my behavior isn’t worthy because it’s not based on me. It’s based on the blood of Jesus Christ, his love for us and what he did for us and that alone—that’s it. Nothing more. It’s never been based on you. It’s never been dependent on you and it never ever will be.
But if you get down and you beat yourself up, guess what, it will be about you. It will be about you trying to make things right with God. It will be about you trying to get yourself back in the right place with the Lord. It will be about you and your behavior and what you’re not. It will be about you begging God because you don’t think you’re worthy to come to the throne with grace and boldness. You don’t think he wants to. You don’t think he’s delighted to give you the desires of your heart.
But he is. You have to forgive yourself and you have to do it quickly. Forgive and forget.

Mountain or a Mole Hill?

Sheri YatesLeave a comment
I tried to let my marriage be my rock, be my hiding place. Well, guess what happened? It was after I got married, my husband, he just—he wasn’t all that he said was, all that he seemed that he was gonna be. And all of a sudden my hiding place had cracks in it and I was exposed in places I didn’t wanna be. And it brought out emotions I don’t really like. You know, like you hear me saying, “Are you kidding me? Are you serious?” 
As I looked up my mountain, I really didn’t think I like my husband anymore. And I’m stuck to him, and married to him, but I don’t even think I like him. I saw this book and it said, “Maybe marriage is meant to make you holy, not happy.” It didn’t matter how many hours I could’ve gone to marriage counseling, or worked on my marriage, or loved my husband more or done more to meet his needs. You know what, I missed that my number one covenant was with Father God.
I’m getting off track. So basically, the only way to conquer your mountain is from Isaiah , the scripture says, “Not by might, nor by power, but my spirit, says the Lord.” You can spend all day long to listen to people’s advice or try figure out how to build a train around your mountain, how to climb your mountain, how to conquer your mountain then get to the other side and you can do it by your might and by your power, but the only way to conquer your mountain indefinitely, completely, and perfectly is through the spirit of the living God and through Jesus Christ.
Listen to these verses. In Isaiah 41:15 that he said, “Oh you mountain of human obstacles, I will make you a molehill.” Wow. How many times have you heard that saying? Like you’re making a mountain out of a mole hill. Well, God says you have made a mountain. You’ve got a mountain in front of you and he’s gonna turn it around and make it a mole hill. Let’s look through the vision of God at our mountains and let’s see what’s really there. Physically standing in front of us, we might see a mountain. But by God’s spirit, it’s a mole hill.