When I signed up for the transformation, for some reason I thought I would go through six months of transformation and then I would be fixed. I don’t know if I was thinking I would return to my old habits or lifestyle. But mentally, it has been a challenge. I stayed on plan for eight months while my husband was wrapped up on his. It was great. But when he finished, mentally, I went off the tracks.
I was cruising along, doing really well, realizing this was a lifestyle—not something I’m going to do for a few months and then I’m going to be okay. It’s a choice. It’s a lifestyle not to become addicted to sugar again, not to give in to the cravings of my flesh every time I want to. But suddenly, when you are free, you are outside the boundaries of your counsel and your accountability, and all hell can break loose.
I went on a vacation with my husband—actually two, back to back. And we did not eat well. We ate somewhat healthy, but every afternoon, we would eat Mexican food, cupcakes, and frozen yogurt. It doesn’t seem like a lot, but it was. Sometimes I would pile on other goodies in the middle of the afternoon. So it was two hours of gluttony, honestly. I gained three pounds.
The problem is that I never lost those three pounds. Even though my body still looks small and muscular, it’s easy to put fat back on. I don’t care about that so much, but it’s easier than you realize to return to your old habits. I know 100% that God does not want me to do that. It has been a battle. Galatians 5:17 says there is a great battle. It is between your flesh and your spirit. The spirit wants to go this direction, but your flesh is fighting you and wants to go this other direction. It’s literally like Paul said: I do what I don’t want to do, and I don’t do what I want to do (see Romans 7:15). This is the mental battle I had been under.
I was under it every day before I started, and I have been under it for the last two months. My weight has been like a yo-yo. I’ve been up and down—up to seven pounds. It’s like up, down, up, down. Once I begin to give in to the desires of my flesh, my flesh is like a monster and it wants more. It’s craving. It’s starving. It’s saying, “Give me another cupcake. I want some more icing. You ate what you wanted to today, so let’s eat what we want to tomorrow. I’ve got a plan. I’ve got a spoon. I’ll see a jar of cookie butter,” and my mind is already seeing myself eat it. Before I know it, it’s in my mouth.
It is a battle to maintain your health forever and ever. I do not want to lose my progress. I do not want to go back into the slavery of my flesh. I don’t want to be in slavery to the plan. I want to be in slavery to Christ. I want everything in moderation.
But sugar is addictive. It is a monster. It will make you its bond slave. Before you know it, you will be so mentally warped in thinking, “Just a bite here is okay. Just a little bit every day is okay.” Before you know it, you’ve got five Reese’s cups down your throat and a coffee in your hand that you don’t need. Your body does not need it to be fueled. In fact, these kinds of food make you foggy and inflamed. Inflammation is a curse of the law. Christ died to become the cursed for you. You don’t need inflammation. You have no idea how inflamed your body is until you get the inflammation out.
Now I can feel it. Every single time I have sugar, I can feel my body swelling. I can feel the inflammation. I will gain weight. It’s unbelievable how sensitive my body has become to unhealthy foods, which don’t fuel it to do the work I need to do.
I have to keep my vision in front of my eyes to remember I am God’s holy temple and I want to treat my body like that. It’s okay to indulge once in a while, but it’s not okay to become a slave to the desires of my flesh again.
If you relate to this, share this with someone who is in the struggle. Let’s work it out together.
I pray right now: Father, remind us. Help us. Guide us. Give us ears to hear and eyes to see so we can follow You in everything we do, including the food we eat and the way we spend our time, in Jesus’ name.